One of the
best ways to cope with conflict is to avoid it. Often we can anticipate
in advance what kinds of problems may emerge and take steps to
address them. These steps are called "Preventions."
Here a few you can use with a partner or group to prevent conflict.
-
AGREE
ON GOALS. Make sure the people with whom you work and socialize
want the same things. If you have separate agendas, you'll be
working against each other. For example, a new couple consisting
of someone with serious, long-term intentions will have problems
if their partner is only looking for casual companionship. If
a team consists of someone who wants to win the championship,
they will bump heads with someone who's merely looking to break
personal records. Discuss in advance what everyone wants and
make sure your goals are compatible.
-
AGREE
TO COMMUNICATE. This may seem obvious, but often a person will
say "I didn't think I could talk to you about this."
Agree that conflict is bound to come up, so it is necessary
for all parties to share their feelings and listen to the feelings
of others.
-
STAY
COMMITED TO SHARED GOALS. Don't allow ego to get in the way.
Focusing on what you are working towards will prevent issues
from getting personal.
-
EXPECT
AND RESPECT DIFFERENCES. As hard as we try, we cannot change
people. We're much better off respecting them for who they are
and learning to tolerate some behaviors. Be willing to compromise.
If someone has a behavior you truly cannot tolerate, it may
mean your relationship cannot work. But before breaking up or
quitting the group, be sure your intolerance is truly out of
personal need and not out of stubbornness.
-
BRAINSTORM
POSSIBLE PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY OCCUR. Discuss what issues other
people face in certain situations and how you will handle these
issues should they arise. Doing this before you're emotionally
invested will allow you to keep a cool head and prevent any
nasty surprises.
But even if
you take all of this advice, conflict will sometimes be unavoidable.
To learn more about managing conflict that has already arisen, read
the article Conflict:
How to End It or check out the Jump
Start Leadership Workbooks.
Scott Greenberg, Speaker, Author, Leadership Consultant
Providing motivation, team building and leadership training for
groups and individuals looking for optimum performance.
For
more information on programs or leadership workbooks,
call 1-800-450-0432 or visit www.scottgreenberg.com
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