I played tennis
in high school and was told early on to compete against people
who played better than I. (Trust me, it wasn't hard to find an
opponent.) The reason for this is that when you're around a good
player, it brings out the best play in you. I've since learned
this is also a great way to choose friends.
There are
two kinds of people in our lives -- Energizers and Dead Batteries.
Energies make us feel great about ourselves. The remind us how
good we are, they motivate us and generally make us feel better
just by being around.
Then there
are Dead Batteries. Those are the people who drain us of energy.
They complain, they discourage or maybe they don't do anything
in particular, but for some reason, they just make us feel bad.
I used to
have a friend that reminded me of Jude Law's character in "The
Talented Mr. Ripley." When we'd hang out, he was a lot of
fun. But he'd also be extremely flaky and unreliable. Often we'd
make plans, and he'd cancel at the last minute. It was one of
those friendships that you have to force along (where you feel
a bit taken for granted). When I left him a message telling him
I was getting married, I didn't hear from him for almost a month.
That made me realize that this friendship led to a lot more disappointments
than good times. There wasn't a problem here to be fixed. It was
just who he was. I had to answer a tough question. Did this friend
contribute to my life, or take away? The disappointment far outweighed
the good times, and I've let the friendship fade away. It was
hard, but I feel it was the right decision.
Because the
people around us have a tremendous influence on our lives, it
is crucial that you surround yourself with Energizers. Every person
in your life should somehow improve you. Dead Batteries should
be cut loose. There's absolutely no reason why you should have
to endure anyone who doesn't make you feel good. Sometimes this
is a hard thing to do. But have faith. Your life WILL improve
by keeping positive people around you.
For tips on
how to set yourself up for success, check out the Jump
Start Leadership Workbooks or The
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
To read more
motivation, check the Chicken
Soup for the Soul series.