Recently at
Kinko's they were having problems with their machine and were
taking a long time to complete my job. Wanting to be productive,
I asked a clerk if I could use their phone to make a local call.
She said no. I felt a little put off.
Eager to make
my call, I decided to alter my approach. I found another clerk
and changed the wording of my question. "Excuse me, I need
to make a local call. Which phone is best for me to use?"
I was immediately shown to a desk. Feeling empowered, I then took
it a step further. "Excuse me, I've been waiting a while
and I need to get back to my office. How soon can you have someone
deliver the job?" They agreed to bring it to my office the
moment it was done. And since they were making me wait (as I reminded
them in my question), implicitly there would be no charge for
this.
I've learned
that our specific wording of requests is critical to getting what
we want. In the first instance I empowered the Kinko's clerk with
a close-ended question (meaning yes or no) about permission: Is
there a phone I can use? Asking the question this way implies
that "no" is a possible answer. To end the situation,
all the clerk has to do is shake her head. That's very easy for
her. In my second attempt, I consciously moved beyond the permission
stage, establishing my presumption that it would be OK, and all
I needed to know was which phone I should use. To the second clerk,
it's much more difficult to say "no" because this time
it would require an explanation and confrontation. The most comfortable
response is to grant my request.
People often
opt for the easiest way out. They prefer to avoid confrontation.
So when you make a request, start from a place that assumes the
person is willing to help. Don't ask for permission; ask for options.
You'll be surprised by how often you're accommodated.
For tips on
how to set yourself up for success, check out the Jump
Start Leadership Workbooks or The
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
To read more
motivation, check the Chicken
Soup for the Soul series.
Scott Greenberg, Speaker, Author, Leadership Consultant
Providing motivation, team building and leadership training for
groups and individuals looking for optimum performance.
For
more information on programs or leadership workbooks,
call 1-800-450-0432 or visit www.scottgreenberg.com
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