Not long ago I was brought in as a motivational speaker for the National Teen Leadership Program and noticed someone in my audience put her head down to sleep. This threw me, and I began to wonder if I was boring my audience. It was a terrible feeling during a speech that required my focus. Surprisingly, I got a great response at the end and the woman approached me.
‘Excuse me, Scott? I really enjoyed your session. Sorry for putting my head down. I’ve just got this really bad headache. Do you have any Tylenol?”
We humans are sensitive creatures. It doesn’t take much to upset us. Chances are someone will do something today that will offend you. They’ll cut you off on the freeway, they’ll criticize you or maybe they’ll give you an unkind look. It’s tempting to let this spoil your day. No one enjoys an unpleasant encounter.
These moments won’t hurt as much when you don’t take them personally. Most of the time, they reveal more about the other person than they do about you. The person who cuts you off may be late for court. The critic may be struggling with some inner inadequacy. The people texting during a motivational speaker session may actually be taking notes. (I’m still trying to get used to this!) There are many reasons why people behave as they do which have nothing to do with you. When you consider this, their offensive behavior won’t bother you so much.
The antidote to sensitivity is compassion, the ability to feel sympathy for others. This is easy when their behavior has nothing to do with you. When it does, compassion may not be your first instinct. We have to be conscientious about managing our emotional responses. This is one of my main messages as a motivational speaker.
The next time someone offends you, ask yourself a few questions: What outside factors may be influencing the other person? Why would someone kind display offensive behavior? What does someone’s criticism of you reveal about them?
Sometimes the criticism is about you, and some things are personal. You’ll be more equipped to handle these situations when your overall sensibility is less defensive. But remember, the vast majority of the time it’s not personal.
Learn to control your emotional responses to others. When you do, you’ll need less Tylenol.
Related posts:
- Coping With Criticism
- Motivational Speaker Asks, “Are Your Pursuing Golden Goals or Plastic Trophies?”
- Motivational Speaker Asks: Can One Bad Apple Spoil The Bunch?
- Self-Esteem or Self-Destruction
- Giving Up The Need to Be Right (and Overcoming the Fear of Being Wrong)
