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Managing The Cynic In Your Head

In my presentations I often speak of the “voice inside your head,” referring to the running commentary in your mind that often criticizes you and makes you feel bad about yourself. You may recognize it for saying such things as “You’re too fat” or “That person would never go out with you” or “You sounded so ridiculous in class.” I devote a lot of time studying this voice and learning how to manage it. I believe that the greater we are at coping with this voice, the greater our chances of maximizing our potential. Here are a few tips:

1. DON’T TRY TO SILENCE THE VOICE. (This is a new one for me.) Telling the voice to shut up will only make it louder. I was once at a NBA game and watched some fans harassing one of the players. The basketball player got angry and responded. The fans, delighted that the player acknowledged them, only made it worse for him. The best athletes are able to focus on their game, regardless of what is being said around them or to them. To manage the nasty fan in your head, try not to silence it, but to disregard it completely. To do this, you too must focus. Focus on what you are trying to accomplish.

2. DON’T STOP TO EVALUATE YOURSELF WHILE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. If you do this during a rough time, you’ll awaken the inner critic. Again, stay focused.

3. TRUST YOURSELF. Most of us perform at our best naturally. Thinking too much will interfere with this natural ability. Getting back to the basketball example, most NBA stars such as Michael Jordan will tell you that while in play, they don’t think much about technique or the mechanics of putting up a shot. They just see the ball going into the basket and let their body do what it’s supposed to do. Thinking too much about the “how to’s” of what you are trying to do will lead to discouragement as you notice your mistakes. Your instincts are better than you realize. Trust your abilities and avoid entertaining self-doubt.

Focus on what you want and don’t think too much. Your mind can be your greatest obstacle. The inner voice serves as a distraction. Focusing on what you want and what you must do will distract you from this distraction.

For tips on how to set yourself up for success, check out the Jump Start Leadership Workbooks or The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.

To read more motivation, check the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.

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